Episode 131: Project Relationship with Joli Hamilton
In this episode, Alisha is talking with research psychologist, and certified sex educator Joli Hamilton about jealously, monogamy, and relationships .
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Episode 131: In this episode, Alisha is talking with research psychologist, and certified sex educator Joli Hamilton about jealously, monogamy, and relationships .
Episode 131 Notes:
Mother with kids 13-21, They keep her busy
Homeschooling mom before it was the thing everyone had to do.
Researches monogamy and non-monogamous relationships to Actively create the love relationships we want.
Most people didn’t grow up in conscious households.
Actively create the love relationships we want.
Learning how to learn from the ground up. You don’t magically wake up and know how to love.
Project Relationship book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08KVMV8WT
Loving is straightforward, but love is not. I could use the entrepreneur skills, being to take risks, being willing to innovate.
When are difficult conversations becoming impossible conversations
Instructions for impossible Conversations: Get clear on what you want and then craft the first two sentences of the conversation. Set aside 30-90 minutes
Usually, there is a moment when folks have to have a reckoning with themselves. We often think that someone else has to change what they are doing for me to feel a certain way.
Where is the boundary?
Sort out what’s on your side and what’s on my side.
Research in Jealously
Interest in jealously came from sorting out own feelings.
Jealously is archetypal it is part of the human experience
Jealously is fear of interruption of the love bond.
Jealously brings up sadness, grief and fear.
We treat jealously that it’s proof that we’re loved.
Jealously and envy are slightly different
Jealously is a wonderful indicator of what we care about
You have to figure out how to get your needs met
Put your selfcare plan into action
Nourish yourself by reminding yourself that jealously serves a purpose.
Jealously has an opposite emotion. It’s called compersion: To feel joy for another person’s joy.
Open relationships: A broad term that encompasses consensual non-monogamy when people decide with full clarity to have multiple loving partners and that doesn’t necessarily mean sex.
Consensual non-monogamy is far more about communication, coordination, sharing calendars.
Be clear on your reasons and your definitions
Some people find working with jealously as a part of the spiritual practice
Individuation accelerator: individuation is the process you go through as you change and develop, How I make meaning is how I make soul. Relationships are the individuation accelerator.
Your relationship can be the container that you are actively doing your individuation work.
Relationships cause pain, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s what is. When we imagine that relationships should always be neat we invite disappointment.
How do we know where we begin and end if we don’t have relationships with others.
How do I make meaning out of my trauma?
Have the conversations that weren’t had at the beginning.
Abundance was walking with them where ever their journey led.
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