Slow Down! You’ll get there too fast!

Earlier this year around the beginning of our shelter in place order, I was in the checkout line at my local co-op Deep Roots, there was a brightly colored magazine that caught my eye.  A technicolor roller skate with a headline above, I read it to say “Slow Down! You’ll get there too fast”

This resonated with me deeply as someone who is always making it a point to not only be on time for an event but also to be 10-15 minutes early for any meeting, get together or appointment.  My mom taught me when I was younger that if you aren’t on time you’re late.  I’ve often felt like I was hurrying up to get there faster than anyone else, for everything.  It was also drilled into me that when you’re late you’re being very disrespectful to those who are waiting for you.  Wasting precious time, especially the precious time of others was a cardinal sin in my household.  In this way I feel like I was taught to value the time of others over my own.  I do think the time of others is valuable, but where were the lessons on valuing my own time?  I’ve lived with an ever-present time anxiety for decades before I realized I could choose another way of being. 

Snail I found in my garden this fall that inspired this year’s Halloween costume.

Braided up in my ideas around time, is a feeling that I have to rush.  In the back of my head I feel like I can’t just be or take my time because if I did I’d be wasting it.  So instead of savoring I’ve found myself rushing through moments, and because I rush through so many moments ultimately, I’ve found myself rushing through life.  Finishing college in 3 years, working as much as I can to hit my goals as quickly as possible.  Rushing towards an invisible finish line.  During my corporate America tenure I always made sure I was at work by 7 or 7:15am at my desk preferably before my boss, coffee already in hand computer turned on, writing out my to do list for the day.  And until recently even when I’d take a walk around my neighborhood I’d often walk to get a workout in and not walk to pay attention to what’s around me. I’d miss the buds of springtime or the brilliant colors of fall.  I’d miss the mushrooms sprouting after a rain or the birds flying overhead.  I eat quickly, I walk fast, I rush forward into much of my life.  I’m often more of a big picture thinker than a detail-oriented person.  I used to think I wasn’t detail oriented at all because that wasn’t my nature, but now I think it’s more a symptom of rushing, of going too fast. 

This year’s Halloween Costume, a reminder to keep slowing down to savor the moments of life.

What happens when I slow down?  I took yesterday afternoon off.  My PLP (Platonic Life Partner), Betsy was in town and we walked through the neighborhood, slowly for hours.  Stopping to really look.  We paused at leaves, stopped to take in the brilliance of the moss and lichen clinging to intricate bark.  The fall colors against a cloudy gray sky were highlighted in glorious hues.  We had nowhere to go, nothing to do, there was no agenda.  No reason to hurry no reason not to walk my rubber boots through the puddles or into the mud next to the creek and look up for long minutes at a time watching the red headed woodpeckers have their way with tree trunks. 

In addition to savoring the beauty around me when I slow down there are details of my own life that come into focus more strongly.  I can see what I’d been ignoring because I was telling myself that I didn’t have the time to see it.  Like the itchy sweater, I might have liked the way it looked on me but the way it made me feel left me uncomfortable, and slightly off.  When I slow down it comes into focus and that figure flattering sweater might actually need to be tossed into the goodwill pile. It’s that way with everything in life.  When I slow down, I have to pay attention to the itchy uncomfortable feelings and decide what I want to do about them.  In slowing down this year I’ve been given the opportunity to pay attention to the details of my own life.  Reassess the practices that are no longer serving me, the habits that were useful once, but not anymore, the friendships that might no longer be a good fit, the friendships that were meaningful but fell away because I wasn’t taking the time for them.  And of course, it’s been an opportunity to ask myself once again am I honoring my core values?  Am I living my life in alignment with what I’ve not only said is important to me but what I know is important to me? 

I bought the magazine that I thought said “Slow down, you’ll get there too fast” purely for the message on the cover.  Slow down, you’ll get there TOO fast could be a mantra I say to myself daily.  A reminder that life is not a race to win.  I believe we only get a finite number of heart beats so why would we want to spend them rushing?  Why wouldn’t we want to slow down to enjoy them?  Life is not a to do list to be checked off.  When I got the magazine home I realized it didn’t actually say “slow down you’ll get there too fast.”  Like I mentioned in a post earlier this week my brain just works differently than most people’s when it comes to spelling grammar and words.  The magazine actually said, “slow down, you’ll get there faster”.  I like how I read it the first time best, it was the message I most needed to hear.  I’m not interested in getting anywhere fast these days.  I’m interested in savoring each moment, I want to slow down because if I don’t go too fast I can actually see, savor, and appreciate what’s happening in my life.

Are you rushing to get to an imaginary finish line right now?  What details of your life would come into focus if you slowed down long enough to see them?  What about your life would have to change if you slowed down long enough to see that something wasn’t right?  And on the flip side what in your life would you enjoy more if you gave yourself the time to savor it?

Slow down, the journey is meant to be enjoyed not won.  Slow down, you’ll get there TOO fast.