That Time I skipped Work To Read the 3rd Book in The Twilight Saga
In my decade long career at Lincoln I never took a mental health day, unless you count the one time I actually stayed up all night reading the second twilight book and NEEDED not to go to sleep but to immediately drive to Barnes and Noble as soon as they’d be open to buy the next book in the series. Let me be clear I don’t stay up all night doing anything. I only pulled one all-nighter in college (research methods was almost the death of me) and I sure as hell am not the type of person who stays up past 9:30 voluntarily, I don’t like anything getting in the way of sleep, let alone staying up late to read of my own will. This was a unique situation. I was not sick, and I was not emotionally unwell, unless you count taking a PTO day to read the twilight series illness. For my friends who know me to be an early to bed, early to rise person who does not stay up past 9:30pm most of the time, this was an unexpected move even to myself, and yet I have no regrets.
From the time I started working at a grocery story in college through my tenure in the life insurance industry, a 14-15 year period of time, that day was the one and only time I ever took time off work unexpectedly for myself outside of physical illness. I knew it was a day that I had no major commitments at work, I wasn’t going to negatively affect anyone by being out of the office, and I had completely forgotten this true story from my life until I wanted to write you the phrase “In my corporate America career I’ve never taken a mental health day”. That is almost true aside from my twilight saga digression. I am an emotional creature by nature, blame it on the scorpio in me or the empath in me, but whatever it is I promise you that there were days that I absolutely should not have been at work from a mental health standpoint. There were times that not only would I, but also my colleagues have benefited if I had just stayed home and taken a mental and physical rest.
It has taken me a very long time to realize that how hard, how steadfastly I work does not determine my worth. And whether you are an emotional creature like me or not the truth is that all of us could benefit from a mental health day now and again, and probably more frequently than you think. I believe in showing up and doing work and being professional and being consistent. All of that is important. I’m not saying you should take a mental health day when you’re supposed to give a big presentation, or when you know you have something important that would leave others high and dry, but what I am advocating for is rest. We do need to normalize and advocate for our ability to rest. So many of us, myself included are terrified of being deemed lazy, or not hardworking that we swing the pendulum so far in the opposite direction that we don’t just work hard, we are actually destroying ourselves in our quest to be the hardest worker. We rarely slow down enough to see what’s going on with our body. Hitting the physical wall instead of resting on purpose before we hit the wall is a badge of honor, and I’m here to tell you that’s completely and utterly backwards.
In the circles I run in, there are a lot of high powered, determined hardworking people, men and women alike. I have a lot of friends building businesses, building empires, friends at the top of their careers, and friends organizing to make a difference in this world around social justice issues and issues of equality and anti-racism. Sometimes these friends are business building and basically working a full-time job fighting for justice. I don’t really know lazy people. I’ve seen folks hit the metaphorical wall after running themselves to the brink of death, I’ve seen folks have a crisis of confidence that puts them out of action for a little while, I’ve seen folks prioritize work over their marriage or themselves having to take a humble pause to reprioritize, I’ve seen folks look like they are spinning their wheels because they are emotionally stuck, but I’ve concluded that there aren’t lazy people, the idea of lazy is a complete and utter myth.
Being a hard worker is great, but it should never come at the expense of your physical or mental wellbeing. Collectively we must change the narrative around the importance of being busy and being overworked. The only way this will change is if we make it a point to change it. I recognize that when we work for someone else this isn’t always entirely in our own control, but as someone who owns their own business, I want to set an example to be someone who works hard and takes care of herself mentally and physically. I’m doing that this week by eliminating some of the offerings I normally would share just for the week because it’s an emotionally difficult week, I’ve structured it with space for me to stay in bed and binge watch mindless Netflix. And while I might feel some guilt around these choices, I know that this scaled back work week is exactly what the Dr. ordered. I’m also doing my best to not work on Saturday’s and Sunday’s and then going forward in 2021 I will be taking a 4-day weekend quarterly. I am also working towards a full two-week vacation in the summer as well as around the holidays. I’m not quite there yet but I’m getting there. I’m sharing what I’m doing and my intentions for what I want to do out loud in an effort to hold myself accountable to it.
How are you intentionally resting? How are you taking a pause? How are you building in mental and physical health breaks into your normal schedule? Do you equate your handwork with your work ethic and if so how can you begin to shift that narrative?