Trust the Process: Embracing Slow Growth in Times of Transformation
Yesterday, I received some disappointing news. I didn’t get something I wanted and had put a lot of time into applying for. Then, another email came through saying I didn’t receive something else. Finally, to top it off, I found my toilet was leaking. Luckily, the toilet leak was something I could fix somewhat easily, but all of this happened before 10 a.m. and it started the day off on a weird note.
I shared with friends that I didn’t get the spot they had written letters of recommendation for, and one of them replied with this quote she keeps on her phone to remind herself in similar times. It said:
“Grapes must be crushed to make wine. Diamonds form under pressure. Olives are pressed to release oil. Seeds grow in darkness. Whenever you feel crushed, under pressure, pressed, or in darkness, you’re in a powerful place of transformation. Trust the process.” — Anonymous
We live in a time of instant gratification. We often get lulled into thinking that if we work hard enough, success will come quickly, when in reality, slow growth is good growth. Real diamonds, as opposed to lab-grown ones, take anywhere from 1.1 to 3 billion years to form. Even grapevines take at least a decade to take root, grow, mature, and produce good wine.
We don’t just need pressure to mature and transform; we also need time. Good things happen slowly.
So many of us want transformation, the “after shot” of a before-and-after story. But to get to the after, we have to be willing to not only do the work, change our mindset, and endure setbacks, but also weather times of slow growth.
My 5 Tips for Staying the Course When You Feel Crushed:
Have a Good Cry: If you were just let down, it’s important not to stuff those feelings away. Allow yourself some time to grieve. Fully feel it. Sometimes this takes a little while, and sometimes you need a day or two or more. Feel the feelings, then let them go. Don’t wallow too long.
Share What Happened with the Right Person or People: Community is key. Find support in those who understand and care.
Remind Yourself of How Far You’ve Come: Make a list of all your personal and professional wins from the last week, the last year, and the last five years. (Want to learn more about this? Read 10x Is Easier Than 2x by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy.)
Make a List of Recovery Actions: Identify steps you can start taking to move yourself towards the goal.
Take the First Recovery Action: Pick the first step from your list and do it.
If you want transformation and to live into the change, it takes time and work. You don’t have to go it alone. Consider working with a coach. Even if you don’t work with me, work with someone. If you’re in a time of transition and transformation, a coach can help you make meaning of the experience and get to the other side with more ease.