15 Life Lessons From My 100 Year Old Grandma
I’m up in MI staying with my grandma for the week because she turns 100 years old. One thing I’ve noticed is that folks are asking her what the secret is to living to 100 or what life advice she has. When I ask her questions like that she’s cryptic about the answers. There are a few things that she got lucky with, relatively good health, and a strong family that is taking care of her and looking out for her wellbeing. I’ve also observed a few things over my 42 years of knowing her. Here are my observations of lessons on how she has lived her life.
Love what you do: Grandma was a farmer. When I asked her if she liked being a farmer she said “Oh yes, it was marvelous”. We spend a lot of our lives working. If you don’t like what you do it’s going to be a daily battle and that’s energy that could be spent on other things.
Never Stop Moving: Grandma has always been active. Her job was very physical. She was always moving, working walking, planting, weeding, mowing the lawn, trying yoga, bowling. In her 80’s she worked at a greenhouse and would work circles around the younger women because she believed in moving her body. What I’ve noticed is that it is only when she’s had to stop moving that it seems like she might age a bit but her mind and her body are stronger when she is on the move. Grandma wasn’t a running or anything like that but she didn’t spend much time sitting.
Have faith: My Grandma is a religious and faithful woman. She chose catholicism as her religion and I know she is a deep believer. Watching her I see how important it is to have some sort of faith as you move through life. Faith is of course a personal choice but faith has helped her with the loss of two husbands, and two sons. I wonder if she would have been able to get through all of the grief you go through in a 100 year old lifetime if she didn’t rely on faith.
Take Naps: Grandma has never been afraid to take a nap (at least not what I’ve seen). If she’s tired she will take a nap and replenish. Rest when you need to. You can be a hard worker and still honor your body and mind’s need to rest.
Don’t Let aches and pains stop you: My grandma has arthritis in her hands and probably other places but she rarely complains or dwells on it and she has refused to let the pain of it stop her from doing what she loves. She keeps at her crocheting almost always working on a afghan for someone. I know it can’t feel good. My hands don’t have arthritis and they will often ache if I’ve spent a while knitting. I don’t know how she’s done this I’m just saying I know this is something she does despite the pain.
Everyone is a favorite: Grandma has five boys, 14 grandchildren and oodles of great grandchildren. Grandma would NEVER call one of her children or grandchildren a favorite, she says we are all a blessing. What I’ve observed is that somehow she makes all of us feel seen, and loved in a way that we all feel like the favorite in our own way. She seems to do this with everyone. If you are in her presence you feel so good when she shines her attention on you. We all feel like we have a unique bond with grandma.
Don’t dwell on the negative: In a life as long as hers there is grief, and heartbreak, there are ailments, loneliness and sometimes illness. Grandma never dwells on the bad or the hard times. It doesn’t seem like a spiritual bypassing or ignoring the problem she’ll talk about it if you ask her about it but she refuses to dwell or wallow in it.
Delight in Nature: Flowers, tomato season, bird watching or gardening all make her happy. She pays attention to the natural world and finds joy and delight in it’s beauty.
Have a Creative Outlet: My whole life she is always working on a creative project of sorts. She isn’t afraid to try something that she’s curious about from crocheting, sewing, making stuffed animals and wreaths, or little cute boxes out of greeting cards she is always up to something.
Set an extra plate: This thing has happened at family gatherings. Every now and then an extra plate gets set at the table. One easter she said “Leave it, it means we’ll have an unexpected guest.” Now grandma lives kinda in the middle of nowhere, it’s not the kind of place someone would just stop by. Sure enough, that easter someone had been out looking at a property and his car got stuck in the mud. We were eating dinner and this stranger walked up asking for help and we invited him to stay and eat before my uncles helped him get his car out of the mud.
Gratitude and Prayer: Grandma is good at acknowledging gratitude. Yesterday I was telling grandma about something good that happened to me and she told me I needed to say “spasibo tebe, Bozhe.” That’s “thank you God” in Russian (my grandma was born to a Russian mother and an a Ukrianian father and they spoke Russian in her house growing up). Grandma made sure I knew that this was a special thing to say in complete reverence and gratitude. In her Wielfaert house hold we always say grace before we eat, and we count our blessings.
Everybody needs somebody: I often hear grandma say “everyone needs somebody”. Companionship is important to her. After my grandpa died she raised chickens because she was lonely. Even uncuddly chickens can be your somebody but everybody needs somebody.
Humor: Grandma find humor in everything! She is one of the funniest people I known and her humor is wholesome. She never makes fun of anyone, or says anything at anyone’s expense. She laughs a lot about how she can’t hear and the words she thinks you said but weren’t actually what you said. Laughter and humor is a part of every day.
Surrounded by family: Grandma has always been surrounded by family. a big brood of children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. I know this is a source of vitality for her. As someone that’s not married and doesn’t have kids I think about this and still think I can take a lesson from this. I can make a big family for myself of friends and neighbors and loved ones that don’t have to be blood but I do need to find more ways to show them I care and appreciate them.
Have purpose: For the last decade grandma has been telling me “I still have purpose, Alisha”. Often that purpose was taking care of her husband but today she told me her purpose is appreciating beauty.
I read all of this to her and she agreed but she said she would never take a nap if the tomatoes needed to be picked or there was work that had to be done. She also added she wants to be loved and to love.
So there you have it. The secrets of living to be 100 years old.