Unexpected Life Lesson from Adult Voice Lessons:

Unexpected Life Lesson from Adult Voice Lessons:

Over this last year, I’ve been on a journey of radically nurturing my inner child. One of the ways I’ve been doing this is by giving myself a few things that I had wanted in my childhood, the things that were outside of my parent's lower middle-class budget.

Voice lessons had always been a fantasy for me. It felt revolutionary this year when I realized I could actually give myself voice lessons now, as an adult. Not only could I give myself voice lessons now as an adult, I didn’t have to have a goal of becoming a singer. These lessons could be purely for the joy of singing.

I’ve been working with a very talented singer/songwriter in town, Lyn Koonce, and let me tell you, she’s one of the most gifted teachers I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. I leave every single session with a significant life lesson tucked in my pocket.

Yesterday, she was listening to me practice a song, The Eye by Brandi Carlie, and there was a part where she noticed I “wasn’t committing to the part”. The word I was trying to sing actually had three notes, but I was only singing one of the three notes. She played the part on the piano and exaggerated each of the three notes, this time I heard all three notes.

A light bulb went off in my head, I realized I’d been listening to the song, wrapped up in hearing the lyrics and getting them right, and trying to come in at the right time (something I’m having a lot of trouble with), but I hadn’t been listening deeply.

Deep listening is something that I’m continually working on, and here yet again, I was being challenged to not just hear but to listen deeply.

Deep listening, like singing, requires lots of repeated practice. I’m practicing not just listening for lyrics and rhythm, I’m listening for the energy and message behind the words. This is especially true for my work as a coach. When I work with clients, I’m listening for their energy, and their extra notes in the words they’re saying. I need to hear not just their words but the message behind their words. To do that, takes an extra strong deep listening muscle. The way we strengthen that muscle is through practice, just like practicing my singing. Turns out these voice lessons are also making me a better coach.

My question for you is, what do you wish you could give your 8 or 9-year-old self? What did you want that you weren’t able to get way back then, and what might you learn if you let yourself have it now?