Gut Checks, Courage, and Bravery
Gut Checks, Courage, and Bravery
When I left my job in corporate America to create this coaching business Yoke and Abundance, I was walking away from a stable job, close to 6 figures of income, 30 days of paid vacation each year, holidays and weekends off, as well as health benefits and a 401k. I turned my back on that because nothing about that job lit me up. I knew I had something else in me.
Even now, even as I do work I know I’m supposed to be doing, EVEN as I do work that lights me up, EVEN as I create a body of work I’m exceedingly proud of with my daily group programs and the weekly podcast I produce, I still wake up almost every day and ask myself “What’s the point”? Maybe that will surprise you to hear? But I do still wonder that on a regular basis and I’ve been struggling more with this question than normal in part because this winter has been tough, but also in large part because I know that for women to work with me they have to be brave. For women to work with me they have to have courage, because when I work with clients I am asking them to confront difficult existential life questions. I’m asking clients to be brave and to make hard courageous choices, and walk a difficult road. My work in its distilled essence is to challenge people to choose the harder road in favor of their biggest dreams and deepest desires. I’m asking clients to do really difficult things. It’s why a lot of people won’t work with a coach. Yet, I ask my clients to do this work because I know they’re worthy of their hearts' desires.
And, often, I have to remind myself that I too am worthy of my heart’s desires.
As I struggle with the question of “what’s the point” I received a surprising text yesterday from my former manager at the company I had worked at for over a decade, the company that I walked around at feeling like a ghost of who I was supposed to be. He texted to say that he was probably going to have an opening and asked if I would ever consider coming back to work with him and his team? While I did love working for this particular manager, he was always the bright spot of my work, my immediate gut reaction was HELL NO!
As I write you this post from my screened-in back porch watching the birds play and listening to the sounds of my neighborhood I can see the building I spent 10 years working in. It’s the tallest building in my city, the time and temperature blink at me through the mist. That former job wasn’t bad, it’s a dream job for someone but not for me. There I was not connected to my greater purpose, I was not operating in my talents or skills, I was not embracing who I really was and every day I stuffed my intuition into a corner to trudge through because I thought it was the responsible thing to do. If I went back to that now, it would not be different. When I left that industry 4 years ago my life went from black and white to technicolor over night, it was like I woke up in OZ wearing ruby slippers. Over the last 4 years, I’ve blossomed into who I was always meant to be but that doesn’t mean it’s all buttercups and tulips. The financial hit of entrepreneurship is a constant stressor for me, but yesterday I was given an incredible gift. Yesterday’s text from my former manager was exactly the gut check I needed to see.
This brief text gave me the opportunity to gut-check myself. I can’t go back, pandora’s box was opened and I have so much work to do where I am, in my business. I took time this morning to think about the work I’m doing in the world and why it’s important to me. I made a list of everything that I would have to do to feel complete in the work I’m doing and I wanted to share it with you here.
I will feel complete in my work at Yoke and Abundance when all of the women I work with believe and trust the following ….
That they are wise and that their brand of thoughts and wisdom matter
Their divine feminine qualities can and do make for good leadership
That it’s safe to help other women out because as Robert Ingersoll said “We Rise By Lifting Others”
That if they can dream it, if they want it, they should be going after it unapologetically
That they are creative and their creativity is paramount
That their playing small not only doesn’t serve them, but it also doesn’t serve anyone else either
When I look at the lists above, I know I have a lot of work to do and I’m not sure that this work will ever be done. This work is my WHY.
Why do you do what you do? When have you closed a door that you would never walk back through?
Do you need a guide to walk with you through a tough decision, to gain clarity? Then let’s talk. Schedule your FREE 30-minute discovery call with me.